“There’s only room for one person on the throne of my heart. I’ve decided that that one person is not and will not be me.” ~Erica Dunomes
Burdened down and couldn’t take it anymore! I was trying to do things in my human strength and it was getting the better of me. What’s worse is that I was not sure how I ended up that way. Frustrated and frazzled. If someone were to take a picture of me on the inside, they’d have found a woman who looked like she walked over to an electrical socket and decided to stick her finger inside. Well, at least that’s the picture the movies portray right? Haha!
Seriously, though, I can say that I don’t know how I ended up that way. I mean, that is the question we’d all like to ask ourselves after we’ve found ourselves in situations we don’t like. Right? Most of us really know the answer. But asking the question, “How did I end up this way?” gives us somewhat an escape from having to admit that we know the answer. So I’m just going to admit it. I knew the answer. I was sitting on a throne where I (Erica Dunomes) did not belong. There! I did it! (Wow! I didn’t know I’d be this relieved.)
So own up to your sins to one another and pray for one another. In the end, you may be healed. Your prayers are powerful when they are rooted in a righteous life. – James 5:16, The Voice Translation
(Pray for me, please! Sincere prayers, that is.)
In doing this thing called life, I have made a lot of mistakes. And I’m sure I will probably make plenty more. I’ve made one just recently. I took over a throne. I mean it was one that was way too big for my bottom. But there I was sitting there, ruling and reigning. All the while, I was making a big mess. The previous Owner just kindly stepped aside and let me have my way. I guess He figured that since I wasn’t trusting in the job He was doing, He would allow me to see if I could do better. Boy! Did I fail!
Things got heavy for me there! Instead of things falling into place, they were falling out of place. Even the things that I didn’t know were not out of place were falling further out of place. I had made a big ole mess.
So to the original Owner I went.
Come to Me, all who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. 29 Put My yoke upon your shoulders—it might appear heavy at first, but it is perfectly fitted to your curves. Learn from Me, for I am gentle and humble of heart. When you are yoked to Me, your weary souls will find rest. 30 For My yoke is easy, and My burden is light. -Matthew 11:28-20, The Voice Translation
I pleaded with Him to get back on His throne. I confessed the mess that I made and declared that I didn’t want to continue into further destruction. I just wanted Him to come back. He happily obliged. And He had been waiting for me too. He knew it would have been only a matter of time. He knew that I would get tired. He was right. I did get tired. Sitting in someone else’s throne and ruling His kingdom was hard work. And I never want to do it again. The Owner of that throne is Jesus. The place of His kingdom where His throne resides? My heart.
How could I ever think that I would do a better job at ruling my heart than the One who bled and died to rightfully reside there? I mean, who was I fooling other than myself? I’m not as wise as God. (Thank You, God!)
My intentions are not always yours, and I do not go about things as you do. 9 My thoughts and My ways are above and beyond you, just as heaven is far from your reach here on earth. -Isaiah 55:8-9, The Voice Translation
Jesus told me that apart from Him I can do nothing. He is the Vine and I am the branch. The Vine is the supplier of everything that the branch needs. My connection to Him is vital (judging from the mess I made while trying to rule in His place).
I am the vine, and you are the branches. If you abide in Me and I in you, you will bear great fruit. Without Me, you will accomplish nothing. 6 If anyone does not abide in Me, he is like a branch that is tossed out and shrivels up and is later gathered to be tossed into the fire to burn. -John 15:5-6, The Voice Translation
I’ve stepped down! In all honesty, I know that allowing Jesus to reign King in my heart is the beauty of having a relationship with Him. Through that relationship, I allow Him to abide as King in me, while I abide in Him. I need that relationship. And I’m so glad He’s there instead of me.