Back in 2012, after I was let go from the job I was working, I questioned if I should look for another one or not. We were going through some family issues at that time too. If you remember in my recent post, I had stated that my husband had threatened divorce if things didn’t change. With prayer, asking God to show me His priorities for my life – making me a woman after His heart, it wasn’t long before I had my answer.
I was forced to take a step back and to really look at and evaluate a few things. Things like my role as a wife and my role as a mother. We all as women at one point in time or another in our lives, have this false vision of what we think marriage and parenting are going to be like, right? But then it happens, and it turns out to be not at all how we actually pictured. Well, that was my world at that moment. Things were not going at all as I had pictured.
Reading A Woman After God’s Own Heart was truly an eye opener for me. As I began reading the content of its pages, I developed this burning passion in my heart to have and to be what God wanted me to have and to be as it pertained to marriage and motherhood. There was so much that I found out I didn’t know. So much I had to learn. It didn’t bother me at all as long as I was able to be pleasing to God.
I took a look back over my early motherhood years. Because for most of that time, I was a single parent, who had her children out of wedlock, I had to work to take care of my children. That meant that I had to be away from home. That meant that I had to entrust my children to the care of someone else; allowing them to be shaped and influenced by all of these different people who didn’t have the same values of teaching my children the way I did. Actually, I can’t say that I was doing a better job than they were then anyway. I knew I needed to teach my children. It just never really dawned on me how important teaching them was until reading that book. Sad, I know, yet that was my life.
Train up a child in the way he should go,
and when he is old he will not depart from it.
~ Proverbs 22:6
I learned that the most important years of a child’s life to be weaned is when they are first born to about the age of three years old. Let’s look at the life of Hannah. Hannah was the first wife of Elkanah. Peninnah was the second. Hannah was barren and had no children, yet she desperately wanted them. The LORD had closed up her womb. Peninnah knew this and would often provoke Hannah severely until she became miserable. So miserable that she refused to eat.
And she was in bitterness of soul, and prayed to the Lord and wept in anguish. Then she made a vow and said, “O Lord of hosts, if You will indeed look on the affliction of Your maidservant and remember me, and not forget Your maidservant, but will give Your maidservant a male child, then I will give him to the Lord all the days of his life, and no razor shall come upon his head.”
And it happened, as she continued praying before the Lord, that Eli watched her mouth. Now Hannah spoke in her heart; only her lips moved, but her voice was not heard. Therefore Eli thought she was drunk. So Eli said to her, “How long will you be drunk? Put your wine away from you!”
But Hannah answered and said, “No, my lord, I am a woman of sorrowful spirit. I have drunk neither wine nor intoxicating drink, but have poured out my soul before the Lord. “Do not consider your maidservant a wicked woman, for out of the abundance of my complaint and grief I have spoken until now.”
Then Eli answered and said, “Go in peace, and the God of Israel grant your petition which you have asked of Him.”
And she said, “Let your maidservant find favor in your sight.” So the woman went her way and ate, and her face was no longer sad.
Then they rose early in the morning and worshiped before the Lord, and returned and came to their house at Ramah. And Elkanah knew Hannah his wife, and the Lord remembered her. 2 So it came to pass in the process of time that Hannah conceived and bore a son, and called his name Samuel, saying, “Because I have asked for him from the Lord.”
Now the man Elkanah and all his house went up to offer to the Lord the yearly sacrifice and his vow. But Hannah did not go up, for she said to her husband, “Not until the child is weaned; then I will take him, that he may appear before the Lord and remain there forever.”
So Elkanah her husband said to her, “Do what seems best to you; wait until you have weaned him. Only let the Lord establish His word.” Then the woman stayed and nursed her son until she had weaned him.
~1 Samuel 1:10-23
Hannah didn’t leave her home or allow her son to leave until after she had weaned him. Hannah also didn’t stop there after weaning Samuel. After she dedicated him to God, the Bible records that she visited him every year. It was definitely too late in my house for that. My children were all almost well into being teens. I had spent the years that I needed to wean my children away from them working. And it seemed to had created a bit of chaos that needed to be fixed fast. That’s when I made the decision to stay at home.
God impressed upon my heart that my children needed me there. I believed it was what He wanted me to do so, I obeyed. I’ve been home ever since. What’s great is that I also do not ever regret the decision that I made to do so. I obeyed God. It has truly been such a blessing to my family. My husband and I are still together……and happy.
It’s now the year 2017 and guess what? I am still learning and applying how to be that wife and mother God designed for, I believe, all women to be. In fact, I’m going to say something that most women of today may not agree with. That is okay. It is to be expected. But, from all that I have learned and am still learning, a woman’s true role and purpose is in the home. That’s where being the woman God has called you to be must to start.
“God holds parents responsible for the upbringing of children –
not grandparents, not school, not the state, not youth groups,
not peers and friends. ~ Rebecca Hayford Bauer
A mother’s role of influence is so vital and needed to that growing child; those growing children. Just as much as the father’s role is vital and needed. And you are responsible for their upbringing. The most important training that they will ever need must come from you being in the home. Most mothers today are not able to properly train their children because working away from home tires them out to where the influence that they need to give their children, they can’t give it. That leaves so many families sending untrained children out into the world for society to have to deal with them.
Please don’t get me wrong. I understand that there are single parent households. My mother did not always have her husband at home. Most of the years they were married, they spent separated. She had to single-parent for many years. I did too. I started out as a teen parent who didn’t meet her husband until she was 28 years old. But when we hold this single parent issue up to the light of God’s word, we all will see that there is nothing right about anyone being a single parent. It means either two things have taken place: 1. The sin of fornication or 2. The sin of divorce.
Marriage is honorable among all, and the bed undefiled,
but fornicators and adulterers God will judge.
~ Hebrews 13:4
Single-parent households are not God’s way of life. They are that way because of sin. This is indeed a sad reality. The real reality is that women better serve their families by being in the home, not away from the home. Don’t just take my word for it. My word means nothing compared to Scripture itself. Take God’s word for it.
The older women likewise, that they be reverent in behavior,
not slanderers, not given to much wine,
teachers of good things – that they admonish the young women
to love their husbands, to love their children,
to be discreet, chaste, homemakers, good,
obedient to their own husbands,
that the word of God may not be blasphemed.
~ Titus 2:3-5
Or what about the dictionary’s definition? It defines being a homemaker as a person who manages the household of his or her own family, especially as a principal occupation. And in defining the word principal, it means to be first or highest in rank, importance, value, etc.
Another Bible translation puts it this way…………
That they teach the younger women to be sober,
to love their husbands, to love their children,
to be discreet, chaste, keepers at home, good,
obedient to their own husbands,
that the word of God be not blasphemed.
~ Titus 2:4,5 KJV
There’s nothing that can be done about what has been done out of God’s order, which is that men and women marry first (Genesis 2:21-24), then have children (Genesis 4:1), and the wives become keepers of their homes. Yet, when you come to know the Truth, we would do well to act on that Truth.
That the Word of God may not be blasphemed:
“Paul wanted the older women to teach the younger women
so that their actions would glorify God, build His kingdom,
and strengthen the family. Failure to follow Paul’s instructions
would result in the word of God being maligned in the pagan community.”
~ Nelson’s NKJV Study Bible Commentary
Ladies, whether you are married or single, I consider myself to be an older woman to my daughters; to teach them. I desire that they know the truth and obey the truth. Therefore, I aim to teach them everything God says that I am supposed to teach them. I also aim to reach out to you too. To truly love and care for your children (future children), to truly love your husband (future husband) and raise a strong godly family, it starts with you being in your home.
I love that this is already being modeled for my granddaughter. To share a bit of what just happened last week, my granddaughter saw an old photo of me from when I used to work come across my computer. She said, “No. What did I say? Women don’t work!” She is four years old.
Have you ever read A Woman After God’s Own Heart by Elizabeth George? Share your thoughts about it in the comments below.